Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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