so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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