If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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