you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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