rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
