Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do vagina's smell?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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