Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
