I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So here I am, sexting at work.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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