You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
