what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
