By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
