Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
