Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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