Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
