he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
