it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize