If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
