Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
