she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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