guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
