i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
