p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
