Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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