Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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