Do you still have your period?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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