you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
