So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
