I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
