I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize