Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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