If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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