Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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