why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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