dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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