My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
