Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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