So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
