Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
