Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
