I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
