I accidentally had phone sex last night
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
