Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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