I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
