youre lurking in front of me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
