just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
