Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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