when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
