How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
