Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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