I want to stick my p in your. b.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
FUCK WHALES
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
