I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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