She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
