I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize