Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
