Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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