I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
