YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
