I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
