FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
