I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
