Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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